• DJ May Hejtmanek

A Prayer When Trouble Gets Personal

Dear Father God, I don’t know what to do with this, this unfathomable thing. I’ll call it trouble though I don’t even want to name it and give it credence.

Trouble smacked me personal and in-your-face this weekend, broadside palm to the cheek. Both public and private trouble.

Capricious, trouble is. Unpredictable, changeable, variable, impulsive. Swooping in at an unforeseeable moment to snatch your breath, ravage your personal peace, and wreak sorrow and terror. Trouble is a fearmonger and I hate it.

I don’t understand when life suddenly goes whacky and weird. Killings, mass shootings, young people dying in their sleep, well, one young mother with twin one-year-old boys. And then another woman of God falling and cracking her skull, one near to my heart.

I don’t know what to do with this. My heart aches, Lord, for the hurting. And I feel violated.

When life spins wild, I run to you not because I’m made of good stuff, but weak stuff. Hide me in the shelter of Your rock. Wrap your arms around me and speak life. Hope. Goodness. Peace. To comfort others, the child inside me must first be comforted and fortified.

I cling to Your Mercy Seat and I won’t let go until you meet with me. Personal, face-to-face, intimate. Speak to my heart, Father, and reassure me of Your holy presence and Your goodness in the land of the living. Fortify my soul for the path you have commissioned me to walk.

Help me to weep and not fear, to mourn and remain hopeful, to be depleted and refilled.

Help my soul remain confident in You. As Moses hid in the cleft of the rock to witness your glory pass by, hide me safe and secure.

But I must see your glory today. I must witness your splendor so I can testify to Your sufficiency in this day of trouble. Open my eyes fully to see the beauty of your holiness.

I kneel before You, Lord, so I can stand with others.

Knowing Your God
DJ Hejtmanek

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